Act 1 Scene 1

Scene 1 – Rosie’s Flat Window/Area in front of the Ziggurats

Rosie Whitehouse appears at her window, dressed in her nightwear, hair all messed-up and proceeds to throw a shirt, trousers and a pair of shoes down to the ground.

Meanwhile Heidi Rhys-Davies and Heidi’s Mum and Heidi’s Dad walking from up-stage to raised stage centre carrying luggage before stopping and looking around. Having come from the car parked on the grass in front of the ziggurat. The car, unseen by the audience because it is in the wings, could be metaphorical. Rosie sees Heidi, but again does not know her name to be so. However at the sight of this sight she feels compelled to start talking.

Rosie: One day an old woman baked a gingerbread man for her husband. Suddenly, she heard a voice from the oven. "Let me out! Let me out!" it said. She opened the door and the gingerbread man ran out. The old couple ran after him, shouting "Stop! We want to eat you!" But the gingerbread man ran away singing "Run, run as fast as you can, you can't catch me I'm the gingerbread man!"

Heidi’s Mum: Here we are then, Norwich on a Sunday morning

Heidi: The first day of the rest of my life

Heidi’s Dad: Oh don’t be so melodramatic. Everyday is the first day of the rest of your life

Heidi: But it’s the first day of living on my own away from home

Heidi’s Mum: But it’s not like this is the last we will see of you. We will be up again in a few weeks. Hopefully you’ll come back down home one weekend and then there’s Christmas and Easter.

Heidi: It’s not the end of an era, just beginnings of a new one

Heidi’s Mum: Why is it that every new beginning has to start with a goodbye?

Heidi’s Dad: Are you sure you don’t us to help you move in?

Heidi: I’ll manage, you won’t be there to live my life for me. Got to start being independent someday

Heidi’s Mum: We’ll just carry your bags to your room for you

Heidi’s Dad: Heidi doesn’t want us getting in her way, cramping her style as they say. I know how embarrassing it can be to have your parents around.

Heidi: Oh, you have no idea dad

Heidi’s Mum: You’ll be careful though, won’t you? Don’t get too drunk. Eat properly, have you got those recipes I gave you? And if you’re ever ill then call us and go straight to the doctor’s

Heidi’s Dad: Unless you’re hungover in which case, drink plenty of water. Hangovers are simply caused by dehydration

Heidi’s Mum: If you are ever homesick or if there is an emergency we’re only ever a phone-call away. Promise me that you’ll phone me tomorrow and let me know how things are going

Heidi: Of course

Heidi’s Dad: Living independently from us, finding out who she is, it will be good for her. (To Emily) It will be the making of you.

Heidi’s Mum: But we’ll always be there for you, whenever you need us. You can always come home, if everything gets too much for you

Heidi: I’ll survive

Heidi’s Dad: You’ll thrive but before you go there is something I wanted to give you, something very important to me

Pause. Heidi’s Dad takes a packet of condoms reverently from his pocket and gives it to Heidi who quickly tries to hide them

Heidi: CONDOMS! You bought condoms for me. Put them away before someone sees! Only slags carry condoms

Heidi’s Dad: Yeh baby-less slags. Just put them in your bag, you can never be over protected

Heidi: Except from your parents, just go, go!

Nathan for the first time looks out the window to see if what Rosie is saying is actually happening.

Heidi’s Mum: Aw give me a hug. We’re really going to miss you, the house will be a lot emptier

Heidi’s Dad: An awful lot quieter

Heidi’s Mum: And I know we don’t say it enough but we are ever so proud of you. We love you.

Heidi and her Mum hug. Heidi’s Dad ruffles her hair before they depart, waving each other away, Heidi’s Dad shouts before turning out of view.

Heidi’s Dad: Goodbye and good luck.

A man hereby known as Lecherous Man, puts his arms around her from behind, Rosie turns to face him

Rosie: But the gingerbread man ran away singing "Run, run as fast as you can, you can't catch me I'm the gingerbread man!" A cow saw him and said "Stop! I want to eat you!" But the gingerbread man ran away even faster singing "Run, run as fast as you can, you can't catch me I'm the gingerbread man!" A fox saw him and said "Stop! I want to talk to you!" The gingerbread man ran on singing "Run, run as fast as you can, you can't catch me I'm the gingerbread man!"

Lecherous Man: Is this going somewhere?

Rosie: But the fox chased him all the way to a river. The gingerbread man didn't know how to swim. "I can help you," said the cunning fox. "If you jump on my tail, I'll carry you across." The gingerbread man jumped on the fox's tail and the fox started to swim across the river. But the fox said "jump on my nose. You are too heavy for my tail." When they reached the river bank the fox tossed the gingerbread man high up into the air. Down he fell and the fox gobbled him all up! And that was the end of the gingerbread girl.

Lecherous Man: Gingerbread man, its Gingerbread man

Rosie: Not in the Stephen King version its not

Lecherous Man (kissing her neck): Come back to bed, I’ll make it worth your while

Lecherous Man tries undressing her, before Rosie shrugs him off

Rosie: I’m not made of gingerbread and you’re no fox. I think it’s time for you to leave.

Lecherous Man (looking around): Where are my clothes?

Rosie: I threw them out before you woke up, I wanted everyone to see you for what you are. Now run! Run! As fast as you can.

Lecherous Man: You insane bitch you’re fucking mental

Rosie: I only wish that were true

Lecherous Man leaves, angry